he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize