we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
