I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
