careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
