Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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