Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
