you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
