I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
