I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
