your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
youre lurking in front of me
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
