please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
