no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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