I wish i was in the wii world.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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