He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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