But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
3pm strippers are depressing
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
