Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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