I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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