i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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