I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my being single is dangerous.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
