I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
