i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
