did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is Oprah even human
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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