I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
