it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just google imaged poop.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
