...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just pee around me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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