ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
