Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
