I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
