I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dicks are not precious.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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