I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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