And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Drake has all the answers
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize