i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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