I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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