And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He felt like a one man threesome
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
