her vagine was all disorganized.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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