Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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