you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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