U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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