I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
