So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
