why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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