what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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