Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
There's even glitter on my cock...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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