Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
