Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
