I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Randomize
