Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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