How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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