are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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