let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
where does the pee come out of this thing
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
