don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
