I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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