And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
