I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
