I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
