Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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