the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
