who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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