Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
