Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
