Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
