fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize