It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
